Daily funnies - The Pizmo Thread :)

[KnuckleChucker]

Re: Daily funnies

[gizmo fan 2]

Re: Daily funnies

Pilot Gripe Sheets

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[esks4life]

Re: Daily funnies

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

[Esks4ever]

Re: Daily funnies

[Esks4ever]

For you Married Drinkers out there

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll you have?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. “Yuck, that’s nasty poison!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”

“Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

[Sniper_Fire]

Re: Daily funnies

Every year at the end of March, we at Rider Pride, like
to celebrate the new year. We organize the craziest Party in the city!
Leave all your taboos at home and come join us in the craziest,
funkiest, out-of-limits party of the year.
Take your time to prepare yourself for the wild, bombastic night that
will free your deepest instincts.
We do it Saskatchewan-style, so get in the mood!
We are attaching a picture of last year's party, so you get an idea
Of what you should be expecting... See you all there.
PARTY !!!!
Sincerely,
Rider Fans

[gizmo fan 2]

Re: Daily funnies

[Opus]

Re: Daily funnies

nice pic.......

[esklover]

Re: Daily funnies

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips
in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo
woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was
a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked
the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the
car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
woman just sat silently, looking intently at
everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a
bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she
said, "Good trade."

[KnuckleChucker]

Re: Daily funnies

[gizmo fan 2]

Re: Daily funnies

[Esks4ever]

Re: Daily funnies

Every year at the end of March, we at Rider Pride, like
to celebrate the new year. We organize the craziest Party in the city!
Leave all your taboos at home and come join us in the craziest,
funkiest, out-of-limits party of the year.
Take your time to prepare yourself for the wild, bombastic night that
will free your deepest instincts.
We do it Saskatchewan-style, so get in the mood!
We are attaching a picture of last year's party, so you get an idea
Of what you should be expecting... See you all there.
PARTY !!!!
Sincerely,
Rider Fans

[Nanookster]

Re: Daily funnies

A Rider fan.

[Esks4ever]

Re: Daily funnies

A Rider fan.

its spelt l - l - o - y - d



I keed.. i keed

[Sniper_Fire]

Re: Daily funnies

I have just recieved word that the international sign for marriage has been released world-wide....