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If You're Over 40

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    #1

    If You're Over 40

    For The Oldtimers

    My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting
    board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food
    poisoning.

    My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw
    sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown
    paper
    bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

    Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a
    pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

    The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a
    pager was the school PA system.

    We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of
    high
    top Ked's (only worn in gym)
    instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles
    and
    built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have
    happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

    Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must
    be
    much harder than gym.

    Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and
    staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

    We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system
    we
    had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

    I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was
    allowed
    to be proud of myself.

    I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station,
    Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

    Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got
    that
    bee sting? I could have been killed!

    We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant
    construction
    sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of
    Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine
    did) and then we
    got our butt spanked.

    Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49
    bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the
    contractor for
    leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

    We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got
    our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got
    home.

    I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks
    on
    the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she
    could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for
    being
    such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

    To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they
    were
    from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

    We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were
    obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice
    that the
    entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

    TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T- SORRY FOR
    WHAT
    YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!
    Tags: None
    #2
    Re: If You're Over 40

    I couldn't fathom playing with a ball in a cup and sitting around a record player as the evening entertainment. Those video games and 270 digital channels are a godsend. Thank goodness for 20th century technology.

    Comment

      #3
      Re: If You're Over 40

      Originally posted by esks4life
      I couldn't fathom playing with a ball in a cup and sitting around a record player as the evening entertainment. Those video games and 270 digital channels are a godsend. Thank goodness for 20th century technology.
      Can't comment on how you played with your balls but the records had actual sleeves that you could read without a magnifying glass and were big enough that the lyrics were on them. You can have the days of the 25 cent cd's with the 25 cent case and the little tiny booklet. There are probably only 5 actual video games and a 100 variations of each.....yawn.......and as for 'digital channels', the Boss said it all in his song (insert number here) and nothing to watch.

      ps. the 78, the 45 and the LP were also 20th century technology.
      WALTER IS MY HERO!!

      Comment

        #4
        Re: If You're Over 40

        Originally posted by pizmo
        ps. the 78, the 45 and the LP were also 20th century technology.
        I meant to say the 21st.

        I'm also not going to argue with you about which time frame is better. The only thing I wish we had from when you were a kid is prices. Back when you could get a pepsi, a bag of chips and a porno for 5 bucks.

        Comment

          #5
          Re: If You're Over 40

          you wouldn't have liked it in our day E4L... lots of music and none of it tuneless screech metal!

          Turf Toe:
          - "...turf toe is a common malady that is more of a nuisance than a serious injury."
          - "Turf toe can often progress into a chronic problem..."
          - "A mild instance of turf toe (grade 1) can be merely aggravating while a serious case (grade 3) can be debilitating."

          Comment

            #6
            Re: If You're Over 40

            Originally posted by TurfToe
            you wouldn't have liked it in our day E4L... lots of music and none of it tuneless screech metal!

            You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to TurfToe again.

            WALTER IS MY HERO!!

            Comment

              #7
              Re: If You're Over 40

              Originally posted by pizmo
              ...the records had actual sleeves that you could read without a magnifying glass....
              Ever think that maybe your eyes were just stronger back then, old man?

              Before anyone points out my age, Piz has a decade on me.

              Comment

                #8
                Re: If You're Over 40

                Originally posted by esks4life
                Back when you could get a pepsi, a bag of chips and a porno for 5 bucks.
                How much for the snacks without the porn?

                Comment

                  #9
                  Re: If You're Over 40

                  Originally posted by MoneyGuy
                  Ever think that maybe your eyes were just stronger back then, old man?

                  Before anyone points out my age, Piz has a decade on me.
                  Maybe we should explain that a decade is 10 years. Dec comes from the Italian for Allatoes or Allafingers.
                  WALTER IS MY HERO!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Re: If You're Over 40

                    Originally posted by pizmo
                    Maybe we should explain that a decade is 10 years. Dec comes from the Italian for Allatoes or Allafingers.


                    Man, sometimes it's like you speak another language.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Re: If You're Over 40

                      Originally posted by pizmo
                      Maybe we should explain that a decade is 10 years. Dec comes from the Italian for Allatoes or Allafingers.
                      so stupid I love it!

                      ranks up there with
                      specimen = Italian astronaut
                      innuendo = Italian suppository
                      Turf Toe:
                      - "...turf toe is a common malady that is more of a nuisance than a serious injury."
                      - "Turf toe can often progress into a chronic problem..."
                      - "A mild instance of turf toe (grade 1) can be merely aggravating while a serious case (grade 3) can be debilitating."

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Re: If You're Over 40

                        I thought it meant Ali Babba.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Re: If You're Over 40

                          no, you're thinking of Allababbas... something the old Ukrainian guys say before heading into Bingo
                          Turf Toe:
                          - "...turf toe is a common malady that is more of a nuisance than a serious injury."
                          - "Turf toe can often progress into a chronic problem..."
                          - "A mild instance of turf toe (grade 1) can be merely aggravating while a serious case (grade 3) can be debilitating."

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Re: If You're Over 40

                            Originally posted by TurfToe
                            you wouldn't have liked it in our day E4L... lots of music and none of it tuneless screech metal!

                            Who knows. A lot of metal artists claim to have major influence from classical music. I may have liked it as well and then I could have started my own metal band.

                            Oh yeah. Usually I would be pissed at the "tuneless screech metal" comment but I went to the Motley Crue concert last night and that is what it sounded like. I usually like the loud piercing guitar that makes your ears bleed but last night was brutal.
                            Last edited by esks4life; 04-14-2006, 09:27 PM.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Re: If You're Over 40

                              I'm still trying to figure out how Pizmo's generation sounds a lot like mine....???

                              hell, one of my most favorite games as a kid if there was nothing else to do and my friends were busy was to go out front of the house and pitch a tennis ball into the front concrete steps.....helped develop accuracy and fielding and was fun if you worked it into a game....
                              Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

                              Comment

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