Wedding Bells!
-Taken from WorldParodyNews
Will Green Be their Colour?
Veteran Saskatchewan Defensive End John Chick has just announced that he has accepted the marriage proposal of CFL commentator Glen Suitor. Suitor, of course has been rumoured to have deep affection for Rider players in the past, including Darian Durant, Andy Fantuz, and Weston Dressler, but this time he's finally made public his love.
Said 'Suits' in a press release, "A guy like that, he gets sacks, is double-teamed on 100% of plays, and I firmly believe all opponents offensive game plans are based entirely around stopping him, what's not to love? Plus, great hair!"
As for Chick, when questioned, he simply responded with a shrug, "After the 4th time he asked, I figured I either had to say yes, or get a restraining order, you know?"
When this reporter contacted TSN for comment, he eventually found an executive, explained to him what the CFL was, and got the following quotation on condition of anonymity, "Well, I see no problem, as long as it doesn't result in favouritism. All or commentators need to be clear in not supporting one team over another. If it gets bad, we could probably replace him with that figure skating dude, Rod Black? Yeah, he should be able to handle it...."
The wedding is tentatively set for this off-season but, according to Chick, location is waiting while GM Taman determines if the team can go a bit over the salary cap to help finance the celebration.
Will Green Be their Colour?
Veteran Saskatchewan Defensive End John Chick has just announced that he has accepted the marriage proposal of CFL commentator Glen Suitor. Suitor, of course has been rumoured to have deep affection for Rider players in the past, including Darian Durant, Andy Fantuz, and Weston Dressler, but this time he's finally made public his love.
Said 'Suits' in a press release, "A guy like that, he gets sacks, is double-teamed on 100% of plays, and I firmly believe all opponents offensive game plans are based entirely around stopping him, what's not to love? Plus, great hair!"
As for Chick, when questioned, he simply responded with a shrug, "After the 4th time he asked, I figured I either had to say yes, or get a restraining order, you know?"
When this reporter contacted TSN for comment, he eventually found an executive, explained to him what the CFL was, and got the following quotation on condition of anonymity, "Well, I see no problem, as long as it doesn't result in favouritism. All or commentators need to be clear in not supporting one team over another. If it gets bad, we could probably replace him with that figure skating dude, Rod Black? Yeah, he should be able to handle it...."
The wedding is tentatively set for this off-season but, according to Chick, location is waiting while GM Taman determines if the team can go a bit over the salary cap to help finance the celebration.
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