Daily funnies - The Pizmo Thread :)

[Opus]

Re: Daily funnies

Any of you guys watch this yet? It is so funny, it's going to get me in trouble with the ladies though.

most have just written this thread off as Piz's personal spam pile, but I'm glad I caught that 'Nook.......that's GOLD!

[pizmo]

Re: Daily funnies

I take that as a compliment as I like Monty Python.

[esks4life]

Re: Daily funnies

most have just written this thread off as Piz's personal spam pile, but I'm glad I caught that 'Nook.......that's GOLD!

Great, that means all my beauties I've posted in this thread haven't even been read. There are many laughs to be had...

[Party Time]

Re: Daily funnies

i make it a point to check out this thread everytime i see a new post...i mean honestly, who can't use a laugh once in a while....

[budha]

Re: Daily funnies

Newpaper stories that were semt to me. All I have to say on the one is

[esks4life]

Re: Daily funnies

Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35
years ago by an astrologist predictionist.


VIRGO:The Virgin

Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in
bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual.
Attractive.Poetic. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first
sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.
Ultimate sexiness.

SCORPIO:The sex addict

Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most
erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy.
Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The
sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring.

LIBRA:The best lover

Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one
of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring
person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed?
not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up crying... the
most irresistible.

ARIES:The Animal in bed

Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take
you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves
being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed.


AQUARIUS: Does it in the water

Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term
relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your
expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in
bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE!


GEMINI: Does Twosomes

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a
fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy.
Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a
beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE.


LEO:The Lion in bed

Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is
really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth.
Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative.
Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

CANCER:The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of
a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely
creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous.
Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it
comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.


PISCES:The Piece of ass

Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high
sex appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to
be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super
good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always
gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and
sweet.

CAPRICORN:The passionate Lover

Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible,
awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest.
Loves to own Gemini's in sports.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never
forget. Smart.

TAURUS:The Tramp

Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long
relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely
outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need.
Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as
......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to
#### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth!

SAGITTARIUS:The Sexy one

Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when
found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give.
Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They
meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique
sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I
say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna ..... with you might
end up crying.

[pizmo]

Re: Daily funnies

A fellow was on his honeymoon near his
favorite fishing lake and he would fish
from dawn to dark with his favorite
fishing guide. One day the guide, friend
of many years, mentioned that the
honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.

"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."

"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be
into something else?"

"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you
know how I love to fish"

A few hours later, "I understand, but
that's not the only way to have sex."

"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and
you know how I love to fish..."

The following day: "Sure, but that's
still not the only way to have sex."

"Yeah, but she's got pyorrhea (*mouth rot*);
and you know how I love to fish..."

Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated
the guide comments, "I guess I'm not sure
why you'd marry someone with health problems
like that."

"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."

[SandManFan]

Re: Daily funnies

[Nanookster]

Re: Daily funnies

most have just written this thread off as Piz's personal spam pile, but I'm glad I caught that 'Nook.......that's GOLD!

It's why I bumped it. I thought it was pretty funny.

[pizmo]

Re: Daily funnies

I thought that was worth more than one throw-up

[SandManFan]

Re: Daily funnies

I was posting on an empty stomach so all the rest were dry heaves
(does that make you feel better)

[pizmo]

Re: Daily funnies

Yup.

[budha]

Re: Daily funnies

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy
gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb *******', is it?"
Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

[fivedaytrial]

Re: Daily funnies

[pizmo]

Re: Daily funnies

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that
can be implanted and play music inside women's breasts. The music is in
stereo, of course.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always
complaining about men staring at their breasts, and not listening to
them.